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I'm sure everyone has heard stories about how hard it is to date post-divorce.

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I remember the day my ex-husband and I first got email accounts -- it felt like we had time-warped into a Star Trek episode. These days "getting back out there" and "meeting new people" is even more complex complicated by the need to carefully delete inappropriate unsolicited photos texted to you before your kid accidentally sees them which happens more often than you can even imagine.

You basically need an advanced degree in higher mathematics to figure out when you can see someone. And Saturday might work, if we meet for coffee before 11 am when my daughter is done with gymnastics, but that's hoping his babysitter gets there before 9. So we might be able to spend 30 minutes together before I have to get in my car and head for pick up… " And god forbid he travels for work, or has a pet that needs to be walked or I want to take a vacation.

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It might be close to a month before that mutually free moment opens up. That's a lot, and it can work, but it can also leave you emotionally exhausted if you finally work out that perfect time to meet up with someone and then you have that drink and there's zero chemistry. Or if I finally meet someone I really like, we hit it off and then the we remember that it's taken 6 weeks for us to meet for 30 minutes. All of that is just how it is for most dating parents, but the real problem is the Garden State.

I love living here. I've been here almost 20 years. Online sites have settings that go by proximity, but don't take into account tunnels and tolls. So I might get matched up with a great guy… who lives in the city. At first it seems great. I wait until my daughter has a slumber party or is staying with her dad…. Do I drive into the city and pay tolls and parking really hard on a budget… especially if the date wants to go dutch when their commute involved walking two blocks after work?

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As far as being single, meeting someone, activities, events, etc. You can meet someone anywhere, anytime. We all know that. Yes, chances are higher if you are "out there" so to speak. If the bar scene is for you, there are bars singles bars all over. You don't have to be in a specific town, city or what have you. If it's events, bike clubs, museums, charity, etc.

Personally, I think this aspect of life is similar to what a college education can be like.

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You get out of it what you put into it. Make the most of out it. Again, personally, I think Bergen County has the most to offer as far as lifestyle, quality of life, culturally speaking, location, population, diversity, and so on. Commute senarios as follows.

Again, all great advice I'm still a little confused on why so many people seem to think that the whole area is really difficult for singles I realize that life is fast and crazy in the NY metro area, but why so notoriously difficult for the single ladies? Originally Posted by JaneyBlu. I think it's a case of "to each their own" so to speak. We are within X number of miles of one of the most action packed cities in North America, perhaps the world.

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I remember a friend of mine asked another friend of mine if Northern NJ was a good place to move. She said she was 35, single, outgoing, didn't like the bar scene, etc.

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The second friend said -- sure this is a great place to move -- depending on who you are, what you like to do, where you like to go, what type of job you have, what type of industry you work in and the people you work with, whether or not you and so on and so on. To each their own. Let's hope you get out of life what you put into it. Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum.

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