Chinese guy dating japanese girl
What can I do to meet Japanese women?
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Our resident love-in-Japan writer Sara Who answers your questions on everything from dating rules to finding a partner to love, marriage and more. Email it to editorial gplusmedia. How do I create that first encounter opportunity?
I think it all comes down to the way you market yourself. As you said, even though you are Asian, you are not Japanese, so try to go for girls that are interested in foreign guys. This would definitely help with the language barrier as well. Join a group or club catering to foreigners in Japan.
I know I usually find Asian men more attractive, but I would certainly not turn down an attractive non-Asian man with a great personality. I think you have a point when you say foreign guys might have it easier when they fit the stereotype, but in the end, looks are not everything. A good personality will keep us interested. What do you think?
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Is it harder to meet Japanese women as an Asian guy? Does ethnicity factor into things on a superficial level? Got any tips for meeting people in Japan? Let us know in the comments and make sure to come back next week when Sara will answer more of your questions! Is the fact that I have rejected such a union a sign I crave liberated Western women — even the extreme, ballsy Australian variety — over retiring Japanese girls? I have no particular problem with the combination of Japanese girls and Western men — and yet long ago I found myself living in Japan and never dating Japanese women. You might think at this point I am about to revert to the standard narrative that the cultural background of a partner should be irrelevant when you meet Mr.
But actually I am going to argue the reverse: I admire the grace and beauty of Japanese women and am more than aware of their considerable diversity, from demure kimono-clad Kyoto ladies to the unfettered, boisterous personalities so associated with Osaka.
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I realize you can find everything in Japanese womanhood, from power-dressing politicians and brilliant authors to tech entrepreneurs. If my circumstances in life were slightly different — if, say, I was living in a Western country working for a Western firm, or if I was looking to form a bridge to Japanese culture — I have no doubt that having a Japanese partner would add a fascinating extra dimension to my life. The reason, however, that long ago I found myself seldom aspiring to be in a relationship with Japanese girls has to do with the manner in which I connect with Japan itself, a culture in which I have always searched for a version of personal freedom.
Somewhere in the cultural differences between Japan and the West I felt that I could define my own personal sense of self. Having a Japanese partner, I repeatedly discovered, unbalanced this sense of freedom.
No longer was I in control of my relationship with Japan; now I tended to feel more like a prisoner in a relationship with a foreign culture from which I could not escape. The only way I could truly enjoy and develop my love for Japan, I concluded, was by excluding my love life from that cultural relationship.
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Let me take you back to the beginning, though, when in my mids I came to study and live in Japan as a graduate student. Like so many other Western men in Japan, I soon discovered that at the age of 25 I was dating a drop-dead gorgeous Japanese girl of such loveliness that I had to pinch myself to believe she could be interested in my shabbily dressed self. Having endured undergraduate years in England where I was barely able to find a girlfriend of any description, this sudden transformation of fortunes should perhaps have been enough to have immediately made me seal the deal with the heavenly Japanese girlfriend, who was only too keen to settle down together.
But somehow I dithered, feeling correctly that my romantic career was only just beginning. There were several reasons why I started losing interest in dating Japanese women, but the main one was my deepening involvement with Japanese culture. By then I felt quite comfortable — indeed, slightly bored — in an exclusively Japanese world.
How can I compete?
I was spending all week in university libraries, taxing my brain, reading Japanese books. I wanted to head off to the bars and clubs of downtown Osaka and hang out with exciting girls from all over the world. And there were so many of them! My feisty Korean girlfriend was a constant source of cultural bewilderment to me, exploding into a fury if I did not fulfill her strange demands — she once took off a stiletto and hurled it across a train station foyer at me — and yet suddenly switched to mawkish tenderness. After all the excitement of these girlfriends, my periodic return to the arms of Japanese girlfriends seemed like interludes of Zen-like stillness.
And yet pursuing a relationship with someone from another East Asian country was never really an option — I was too devoted to my studies in Japan to have time for another major cultural commitment. I found my New World girlfriends exciting and stimulating and yet never mentally tiring or a distracting cultural commitment.
I enjoyed halcyon years of flying home to the U. The New World girlfriend, I concluded, was the perfect match for me. I found that the nationality of the girl I was dating greatly affected my mental mood and how I thought about things.
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Japanese girlfriends, for example, were nearly always quite keen on the idea of moving back to the U. But I, in contrast, was always keen to remain firmly established in Japan. On the other hand, when I returned to the U. But my romantic wanderings, modest as they were, eventually reached a conclusion when I met my Australian girl in Osaka.